There’s a particular kind of helplessness that comes from sitting on a public bus that hasn’t moved in fifteen minutes. You can see the school. You could practically walk there. Every part of you wants to stand up, ask the driver to open the doors, and just go. But you can’t exactly hop off in the middle of a Singapore road. So you sit, you watch the clock, and you start texting.
That was Monday morning.
The week the bugs came
If you live in Singapore, you’ll know influenza is doing the rounds right now. Every second parent chat seems to have a “tested positive” message in it. We got lucky: all negative. Then we got unlucky: a stomach bug instead.
By the start of the week, two out of three kids were down. Then our helper, who the kids call Tita (auntie), wasn’t well either. For readers outside Singapore: a helper is a live-in domestic worker who supports with the household and the kids. Tita is a huge part of how our family runs. And honestly, I wasn’t feeling my best either. Add a few nights of interrupted sleep, and you get the picture.
But clients don’t cancel themselves, and school still starts at the same time.
Monday, minute by minute (ish)
The morning started normally, until we noticed Tita wasn’t okay. A bad headache. After some Panadol she felt well enough to stay home with the baby, but definitely not well enough to do the school run too. Change of plans. My husband had two very important days at work, so he dropped F at school on his way to his meeting, and I’d quickly drop V myself before my first client. If anything else came up, sick duty was mine. I simply have more flexibility. We left early. Plenty of buffer.
Then came the bus.
Fifteen minutes stuck in one spot, on the road right by school. We arrived fifteen minutes later than planned. No taxi in sight, so I could feel the pressure building.
I texted my first client to say I’d be slightly late, and she was completely fine with it. Knowing how a delay ripples through the rest of my day, I texted my second client too. Also fine. I made my third client on time, by taxi instead of my usual bike, because every minute counted.
Then, halfway through that session, my phone rang. It was school. F wasn’t well. Could I come and pick her up?
Luckily I was training nearby. One more text, asking client four to push back an hour. Picked up F, brought her home to Tita and the baby, then headed out for clients four and five.
After my last session, it was time to collect V at 4pm. We walked through the door around 4:45. Tita was managing. The baby and F were on the sofa watching TV, a bit more than usual. And that’s okay. Once in a while, that’s completely okay.
It’s not the busy part. It’s the unexpected part.
What made Monday hard wasn’t the number of things to do. If I’d known the night before that Tita was unwell, or that F would get sick, I could have planned around it. I’d have spaced out my clients and built in time for pickups. Busy I can handle. Busy I can plan.
The unexpected is what stretches you. But that’s mom life, isn’t it? You’re constantly adjusting the plan as you go.
Help, and the help we miss
I won’t pretend I did Monday alone. Having Tita here makes a massive difference, and I’m grateful for her every day, including on days she’s not well herself.
Sick days are tricky with a live-in helper. When Tita isn’t well, our whole routine wobbles, and I’m always trying to balance what she says she can manage with making sure she actually rests.
And as much as Tita helps, it’s different from family help. Our families are a long flight away. That’s the trade-off of building a life here, and some weeks you feel it more than others.
Friday: tag, you’re it
By Friday, F seemed fine again, so back to school she went. Then, just after lunch, my phone rang. School again. Could someone come and pick her up?
This time my day was packed, with no easy way to move clients around, and I really didn’t want to cancel on anyone. My husband was working from home, so I called him, and he went. Simple as that.
That’s how it works for us. It’s not about whose turn it is, it’s about whose day can bend. On Monday it was mine, on Friday it was his.
Office job vs. my own company
On days like Monday, I’ll be honest: sometimes I miss having a steady office job. Fixed hours. A team. Someone else carrying part of the load.
Running my own business can be stressful. When things go sideways, there’s no one to hand them to.
But it’s also exactly why Monday worked at all. I could move my schedule around. I could text clients and shift sessions. I could be the one who picked up my sick kid. Many of my clients are mums on maternity leave or older women with flexible days, and their understanding saved my Monday. To all of you: thank you. You have no idea how much those “no problem!” replies meant.
We manage along the way
Some days go exactly as planned. Most don’t, and this week definitely didn’t. But everyone got where they needed to be. The sick kids got cuddles and cartoons, and every client got their session. By the evening, I’d had about enough of that bus.
How do you handle days like this? Do you have a backup plan, or do you make it up as you go like me? Tell me in the comments.
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